I was thinking about the Saddam Hussein trials for some reason, and I think that inspired this idea about how to solve the problem of unemployment. No, I’m not suggesting that we make all people who are out of work dictators and depose them – there’s not enough countries to go around, and if they would have to share them they wouldn’t be dictators anyway.

The idea has to do with the trial itself. If all court procedures were based on the example of those against former heads of state they would keep a lot of people busy for a long time. With enough shenanigans like critisizing the authority of the court, threatening the judges and hunger-striking a trial for petty theft could take a month, murder cases and large financial messes several years.

But, you may say, a large part of the unemployed population doesn’t have a job because they are unable to get a higher education, so there’s no way all of them could achieve a degree in law. Well, that is easily solved by requiring different levels of education depending on the severity of the crime. At the top of the list you would require a degree from a prestigious university, but to defend (or prosecute) someone for shoplifting or parking violations you would only need a basic education from a franchised law firm. People could get their basic degrees at Hamburger & Law University, and you would only have to go to the nearest McDonald’s and supersize your meal with the level of defense you need.

It could be that this solution only last for a while, since eliminating unemployment surely would reduce the crime-rate drastically. But for some reason I don’t think that would be a problem with all those lawyers around.